The Bishounen Dating Game.. 4!
by Beautiful Midnight
Summary: Mina and the Merblemikey return for part 4, starring Lina Inverse and Ryu (City Hunter), Touya (CCS) and Simon Hawkes (London Rain) *dramatic voice* Who will she choose!?


*Mina walks out in a short skirt and blouse, posing cutely as the men (Hell, even some of the women) whistle and cheer. The merblemikey is carried out on his velvet pillow by a good-looking speedo-man*  
Mina: Well here it is, the fourth installment of the Bishounen Dating Game! As you all know, I'm your hostess, the cute, young, sexy, smart talented, powerful, single..although I don't know why..  
Merblemikey: . Merble.. *glares and smacks her*  
Mina: The wonderful Mina-chan! ^.^ And this is the merblemikey, my adorable little co-host.  
Merblemikey: Merblemerblemeef.  
Mina: And he's also single.  
Merblemikey: ^.^  
Mina: Y'know, sweetie, I'm sorry your show got cancelled..it really sucks.. especially considering what they replaced it with.  
Merblemikey: Meef?  
Mina: Oh, Pikachu got his own show.. it's really kawaii--*blinks and pats the glowering Merblemikey, who purrs* I mean..er..it's crap. . Anyway, here's our bachelorette today. She's known as the 'dragon killer' and 'enemy to all who live', but she's not abomidible.. Here's Lina Inverse!  
*Faint booing from Gaav, Valgaav and any thieves in the audience*  
*Lina walks out and sits down, smiling cutely.*  
Mina: So, you recovered from your loss on the Slayers Newlywed Game yet?  
Lina: ...Shut up.  
Mina: ^_^ Merblemikey, introduce the next contestant.  
Merblemikey: Merblemerblemerblemeefmerble..merb, meefmeef!  
*Silence*  
*Touya Kinomoto walks out and looks around confusedly, not sure if he was introduced or not. He sits down on one of the stools and nods to Mina*  
Touya: Hey.  
Mina: Hello there, Bachelor number one, I see you brought your fanclub.  
*A huge crowd of girls in the front row scream "KINOMOTO! I LOVE YOU!" while Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo (who's taping Sakura) and Yukito sweatdrop and move away from the girls. Touya mutters to himself and shakes his head, sweatdropping.*  
Mina: Here's bachelor number tw--  
Kaoru: YOU BIG STUPID PERVERT! GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT GIRL! *loud 'whap'*  
*As Kaoru hits him with one of her many mallets, Ryu (City Hunter) flies across the studio audience, who 'oooh' and 'aaah' at his aerodynamic status. Ryu manages to flip in mid-air and land on the stool, posing in what he considers to be a sexy manner*  
Mina: O.o; Are you all right, number two?  
Ryu: *stands up, brushing himself off calmly* I'm fine, beautiful. *makes the gun-finger motion*  
Mina:...  
Merblemikey: ...  
Mina: I can't win, can I?  
Merblemikey: Merble. *shakes his head*  
Mina: Well, here's our third bachelor.  
*Simon Hawkes, a tall, good looking man with shaggy dirty-blonde hair sits next to Ryu*  
Touya: *eyes Simon suspiciously*  
Merblemikey: o.o  
Simon: *eyes Touya suspiciously*  
Yukito: *sitting in audience* o.o;;   
Mina: *happily oblivious* You all know each other, how cute!  
*Merblemikey squeals and launches himself into Simon's lap, purring*  
Simon: What's this, then? *scratches behind the merblemikey's ears*  
Merblemikey: Merb ^.^  
Mina: Well, good luck, Lina.  
Lina: One of them isn't Xelloss, is it?  
Mina: Thankfully, no.  
Lina: I bet he's still off with Zelgadiss.  
*Both laugh hysterically*  
*Camera pans to where Zelgadiss sits in a dress, glaring as Xelloss beams happily and pets him*  
Mina: O.o;  
Lina: First question. I love movies.. If there was a movie made about your life, what would it be called?  
Touya: *smirks* Monsters, Inc.  
Sakura: *stands up, balling her fists, a twitch mark appearing above her eye* SAKURA IS NOT A MONSTER!  
Tomoyo: *films this* Your homicidal face is kawaii as well, Sakura-chan ^.^  
*Syaoran just looks happy to sit next to Yukito, ignoring the death threats uttered by Sakura*  
Mina: Geez. What a monster.  
Sakura: *eye twitch*  
Mina:^_^; But very kawaii  
Sakura: ^.^;  
Lina: Bachelor Number two, what's your answer?  
Ryu: *looks at Kaoru, who sits there, glowering at him and holding a mallet* Queen of the Damned o.o  
*A large metal pipe flies across and hits Ryu in the face, he falls off backwards off the stool. Simon scoots his stool over a bit*  
Lina: Why do I get the feeling that Gourry would've had the same answer..  
Gourry: ^_^;  
Lina: Bachelor number three?  
Simon: *still petting the merblemikey, who has a glazed look in his eyes, letting out contented little 'merble's now and then* A movie about my life, hmm? "In the Bedroom" *cute smile*  
Merblemikey: ^_^  
Yukito: ^_^;;  
Touya: T_T;  
Mina: O.o This is one messed up love tri--er.. well it's more of a square, really. *shakes head* Go on with the second question, Lina-san.  
Lina: Bachelor number one.. If a guy has a good relationship with his mother, it really says what kind of a man he is and how he'll treat his girlfriend. How do you get along with your mother?  
Touya: Er..well, she shows up now and then.. not now, of course, since I gave Yue my power to save him and Yukito, but..*shrugs*  
Mina: O.o;  
Lina: *snifs* Abandoned by his mother.. poor thing.  
Mina: Ano...Lina, I don't thi--  
Lina: Bachelor number two?  
Ryu: I don't know where she is, but it doesn't matter, since I have Kaoru to keep me company ^_^ *beams and waves*  
Kaoru: *twitches and waves back, hiding her face*  
Lina: And Bachelor number three?  
Simon: She's just glad it wasn't drugs. ^_^;;  
Mina: O.o; Well, after that second round, we're going to take a short commercial break and let Lina..er..well, calm down after these...wonderful bachelors. At this time, we'd also ask that security stand between Bachelors number one and three before they hurt each other ^_^;  
Touya: *eyes Simon suspiciously, eye twitching*  
Simon: *eyes Touya suspiciously, eye twitching*  
Mina: We'll be right back.  
  
  
  
*Commercial*  
  
Announcer: Backstreet Boys vs. *NSync.. Christina Aguilera vs. Britney Spears..these Celebrity Deathmatches will -pale- in comparison to the brand new battle..  
  
*Dramatic music sting*  
  
Announcer: This time.. it's.......KAWAII!  
  
*Merblemikey waddles into the ring, with Pikachu on the other side.*  
  
Merblemikey: MERBLE!  
  
Pikachu: Pika-pi-chu!! *electricity zaps, a lightbulb burns out*  
  
Merblemikey: .; *turns Pikachu into a koosh ball and merrs*  
  
Announcer: ...okay, so the drama wasn't there. But tune in anyway.. This Wednesday, on the home of the cheesy promotional shit, FOX.  
  
  
  
*  
  
*Gentle background music, then a concert hall with screaming fans*  
  
Announcer: Britney Spears tickets: $40..  
  
*Britney dancing onstage*  
  
Announcer: Carton of eggs: $3.50  
  
*Loud 'splat' noise*  
  
Announcer: Egging the hell out of America's Pop Princess? Priceless...For everything else, there's mastercard.  
  
*  
  
  
Mina: And we're back.  
Merblemikey: Merblemerblemeefmerb.  
Mina: No, there's no more talking dildo commercials.  
Merblemikey: u.u  
Mina: And we'll continue with the questions, Lina-san  
Lina: Right. The first dance between a bride and groom is the most special song ever.. if we were going to get married, what song would you choose for us to dance to?  
Touya: Kimi ita ga scene (The Scene Where You're There.) *smiles*  
Yukito: *goes starry eyed* Oh, To-ya..  
Lina: *blinks and smiles obliviously* Bachelor number two?  
Ryu: "Nookie". ^-^  
Kaoru: *sits there, muttering "hentai" under her breath*  
Lina: THAT'S ROMANCE!?  
Ryu: *nods happily*  
Lina:... Bachelor number three?  
Simon:*looking right at Yukito* "2 Become 1"  
Lina: That's not much better -_-; Miss Mina, where do you find these people?  
Mina: You don't want to know ^_^;  
Touya: . That wasn't the question, was it?  
Mina: o.o No.  
Touya: Good.  
Lina: Bachelor Number one. Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite stories. Who is your favorite character in that story?  
Touya: *looks at Yukito* ^_^ The white Rabbit.  
Yukito: ^_^;  
Ryu: I like the Queen of Hearts. She's kinky. ^_^   
Lina: Bachelor number three?  
Simon: The white rabbit.  
Touya: Tough luck, Brit. I chose it first.  
Simon: T_T; *mutters, still petting the merblemikey* The Cheshire Cat.  
Ryu: See, I'm not the only one thinking about getting puss---  
*Kaoru wallops him before he can finish the sentence. Simon scoots away further from Ryu*  
Everyone: O.O;  
*Calmly, Kaoru goes and sits back down*  
Lina: Well.. good thing it's the last question. If you could be any math equation, what would you be?  
Touya: *looks at Yukito* Pi ^.^  
Yukito: *blinks, runs off and sits back down holding a big apple pie and a rather large spoon* ^-^  
Lina: Mm...pie...*gets starry-eyed just thinking about it. Mina pokes her and she goes back to normal* Bachelor number two?  
Ryu: A triangle.. Cause 3 is better than one. *makes the gun-fingers*  
*Black Mage frantically takes notes*  
Kaoru: -_-;  
Lina: Bachelor number three?  
Simon: *thinks* 1+1=2 n.n  
Yukito: *chokes on his pie*  
Mina: *blinku*   
Merblemikey: *beams*  
Mina: Well, it's time to find out who you'll be dating tonight. Audience, make your votes, are you ready?  
*Drumroll*  
*A little box appears and it shows Bachelor Number one - 8%. Syaoran giggles evilly*  
Touya: *glowers*  
*Bachelor Number 2 - 70%*  
Ryu: ^.^ v  
*Bachelor Number 3 - 22%*  
Simon: *still looking at Yukito*  
*Both Touya and Simon jump into Yukito's lap and glare at each other. Yukito thinks a moment*  
Yukito: Ano..what about the triangle idea?  
Touya: o_o  
Simon: o_o  
*All three run off towards the green room*  
Sakura: Hoee!  
Lina: *rips up her card and yanks Ryu off, mumbling*  
Ryu: *grins cheesily* Time to raise the nookie flag!  
Mina: *looks over at the merblemikey* Looks like it's just you and me, kiddo.  
Merblemikey: .; Merb.  
Mina: Yeah, I know. *snifs and picks up the merblemikey, trundling off towards the green room, borrowing Tomoyo's video camera*  
  
Phibrizzo: I'm back! I'm finally ba--*runs up and stops in the middle of the stage* H..hey, where'd everyone go!? . 


End file.
